Location: Indianapolis, Indiana, United States

I'm just trying to develop an online body of work (even if the work is throwaway nonsense) to advance my writing career.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Not Funny

Anything can be a joke. This is not a sanctimonious raving about how some things should be above ridicule or mockery; this is about things that are not funny. Or "clever" or "witty" or "pithy". Some of these things never were funny, while others simply stopped being funny due
to overexposure.

1. Old People Using Teenage Lingo
No variation of this is funny, not the parent saying "fuh shizzle", nor the dorky white guy employing any manner of hip-hop lingo. No matter how amusing it might seem when your Grandfather asks you not to "diss" him, this sort of thing has the comic potential only in real life, only extemporaneously and only once per old person. In radio commercials, sitcoms, films or any other contrived or written setting, it is tired and boring. So enough with the "heh heh, Derek Jacobi said 'fuh shizzle' " nonsense!

2. Hot Chicks Fighting
I don't know if this was ever funny, but it certainly isn't now.
"Dude, it's so shocking and totally unexpected. No one expects two hot chicks to fight."
Not anymore, it's not. With the explosion of talk shows, reality television and female boxing, two women fighting can't be played for comedy anymore. Okay, so it can, but not well. Give it a rest!

3. Humor by Humiliation
I suppose I could come up with an unfunny word to describe this idea, one commensurate with its unfunnyness, like "humorliation" (tee hee hee). I don't care to see people punk'd, trick'd, hoodwink'd, fool'd, embarrass'd--yes, I know the apostrophe "d" bit was only funny the first two times, but that's the point, you know--anymore. I don't even care if they're dirtbags who might deserve such debasement; to me, it's like Mussolini playing a practical joke on Hitler. "Ha ha, he shaved half of Adolph's mustache." Look who's pulling the pranks, arranging the stunts, telling the lies, setting the traps; they're at least as much sleazeball as their victims.

4. Swearing Children
Enough, dammit! I'm not here to tell you kids can't or won't curse or you're a bad parent if you tolerate such language from your children or even that filmmakers, directors, writers, producers who give us foul-mouthed kids are morally bankrupt. But it bores me. It's the new handbuzzer, the new whoopie cushion, the tack under the teacher's chair. Tell these cursing kids to shut the @#$& up!!

5. Morning Radio Shows
Here's what I want: A straight-laced morning radio program. These dweebs in their 40s and 50s playing teen pop music, feigning hipness and insisting they are "zany" and "whacky" and "crazy" must think we are "stupid" and "gullible" and "non-discriminating radio listeners", which we must be since they're still on the air. Can you do another penis joke, please? How about a bathroom gag? Or something about women's breasts? That stuff always leaves me in stitches. Better yet, how about a crank phone call? Oh, man, that stuff's rich and innovative!

This is far from a complete list, but it's a start. The scourge of unfunniness has no boundaries. It's almost enough to make you want Pauly Shore back. Almost.


Post a Comment

<< Home