Febrile Vernal Equinox

These executive types who wear a coat and carry an umbrella need serious help, especially the ones who walk thirty feet in light drizzle with the umbrella perched over their heads. Grown men shouldn't need both a coat and an umbrella; pick one or the other. And if you have a coat that can't get wet, you're wearing the wrong coat!

I hate the word "proactive"; to me, it sounds like a brand of shoe. Next time someone uses that word around me, I'm going to hit him right in the face! That's proactive, isn't it?

Yanni was arrested for domestic violence, although he disputes the charge. I'm with him. After all, what are the odds Yanni hooked up with the only woman in the world who couldn't beat him up? Barry Manilow could put a beatdown on Yanni. Paul Anka is Cassius Clay compared to Yanni. If Karen Carpenter were alive, she'd mop the floor with Yanni; she could probably take him now! "Dead Schlock Singer Trounces Girlfriend-Beating Muzak Auteur."

Yes, it was an accident when Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face, but enough is enough! The story is not only overexposed and tired, but Cheney's defenders are making themselves look very foolish by complaining how overexposed and tired the story is. In essence, their argument goes like this: "What's the big deal? All he did was shoot someone in the face." The millions in the media still shooting this dead pheasant and the six or seven people who actually like Dick Cheney can shut their mouths anytime now.

The catchphrase "What Would Jesus Do?" ought to be ready for the glue factory, hadn't it? I don't have a particular problem with it so long as it applies to personal conduct. If people ask themselves what Jesus would do when the choice is to tell the truth or a lie, to be forgiving or vindictive, to be generous or miserly, that seems fine to me if it helps them decide. But things get dicey when matters turn to foreign policy or social issues. Regardless of a person's religioius views, does anyone see the problem here? If Jesus is your consult on such matters, he's either been dead for two thousand years or he's the son of God who transformed water into wine and raised the dead; what he would do about the war in Iraq or Roe vs. Wade is either impossible to determine or beyond our capabilities as individuals. If you ask what Jesus would do about world hunger and think you can achieve something similar, you either have delusions of grandeur or you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. Keep saying it to yourself if it truly inspires you, but enough with the bracelets and keychains and license plates... please!

What's with the word "refrain"? It can mean either to do something again, as in the chorus of a song, or not to do something in the first place, as in "please refrain from writing any more blog entries." That's what my readers always say, but I just refrain and refrain and refrain.