Location: Indianapolis, Indiana, United States

I'm just trying to develop an online body of work (even if the work is throwaway nonsense) to advance my writing career.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Who's Really to Blame?

Carol Channing, Whitney Houston, Maury Povich, Jean-Bedel Bokassa, Evan Meacham, John Ashcroft, Severus Snape, Billy Carter, Cher, David Hemmings, Elmer Fudd, Alger Hiss, Ashlee Simpson, Helmut Kohl, Scott Hizer, Leo Durocher, John Dean, Anse Bundren, Nikki Sixx, Margaret Thatcher, R. Kelly, Gene Simmons, Ted Kennedy, Alan Thicke, Tempest Bledsoe, Menudo, Dan Rather, Pol Pot, Kevin Federline, Thomas Midgely Jr, Joe Christmas, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Spiro Agnew, Bill O'Reilly, Vlad the Impaler, Anne Rice, Ptolemy, David Lee Roth, Shaun Cassidy, Phil McGraw, Edgar Cayce, Emperor Palpatine, Lil' Jon, Abbie Hoffman, Clarence Thomas, Adolph Rupp, Barney Rubble, Meredith Viera, Phyllis Schlafly, Larry King, Ann Coulter, Neil Diamond, Neil Sedaka, Neil Schon, Neil Young, David Soul, Simon Cowell, Anna Nicole Smith, Georges Clemenceau, Oliver Cromwell, Howard Holt, Florence Henderson, Charles Dickens, Larry the Cable Guy, Laurence Olivier, Larry Linville, Larry Hagman, Bruce Tinsley, Garry Trudeau, Candace Bergen, Jack Straw, Bob Eubanks, you, me, and Terry McMillan.

Many people ask who is really to blame for things? For all the problems, the mishaps, the trouble, the tragedies, the horrors and the frustrations. Well, wonder no longer because you've just read the official list. Having read it, the reader is likely to have some questions. I'll try to answer as many as possible.

Q: Why aren't any Presidents on the list?
A: I'm giving them a break, for one thing. Secondly, it's common knowledge that Presidents mess everything up and the title is who's really to blame, not who's to blame that everyone already knows about.

Q: What if I don't agree with all your selections?
A: How can you? It's my list. Make your own.

Q: Did you just make some of those names up?
A: Yes.

Q: May I add some names of my own in the comments section?
A: No, you may not! Who am I kidding? I can't stop you and besides, even my mother doesn't read this blog!

Q: Does it really matter who's to blame?
A: Irrelevant question.

Q: What do you have against guys named Neil and Larry?
A: Listen, Neil, I've already explained this to you, so bug off!

Q: Did you forget Osama Bin Laden?
A: I did, but see the first question. We all know it's his fault to start with.

Q: What if I have questions that don't appear on this list?
A: Then you only have yourself to blame.

Coming soon... si kosa langu.


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