Location: Indianapolis, Indiana, United States

I'm just trying to develop an online body of work (even if the work is throwaway nonsense) to advance my writing career.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Professor Longhair Is A Vampire

The world clearly needs more vampire-related entertainment. In recent weeks, the paucity of vampirical books, films, and television programs has been decried by vampire enthusiasts, who demand swift action to rectify the problem.

"I don't understand why there isn't more empty-headed, pseudo-erotic claptrap about creatures that don't exist," said Stram Boker, a stockbroker from Hoboken, "When I get done watching seven consecutive episodes of 'Law and Order: Egregious Parking Offenses', I want to unwind with a little escapism."

Who doesn't? What the Zeitgeist really needs is to be captured by a series of vampire books transformed into films featuring a young and attractive, but pasty, cast. There is no need to thank me for these groundbreaking ideas.

Today would have been Professor Longhair's 91st birthday. Sadly, he remains a fairly obscure figure outside of his native New Orleans, but the music he produced was astoundingly vibrant. Much of his vintage material was recorded several years before the phrase "rock & roll" was coined, but the songs--"In the Night", "Hey Little Girl", "Who's Been Fooling You?"--swagger and sway with the same assurance as Fats Domino's best work.

Let's be honest: 2009 hasn't been a stellar year by many measures. In the world of sports, it could easily be mistaken for the late 1970s or early 1980s, what with the Pittsburgh Steelers prevailing in the Super Bowl, the Los Angeles Lakers taking the NBA title, and the New York Yankees raising the World Series trophy. The economy has been about the same as that time period, too. Overall, it's been a great year for unimaginative front runners. Just what we need.

Incidentally, Professor Longhair died in 1980, so if he came back now (as a vampire, no doubt) he probably wouldn't notice much difference.