Location: Indianapolis, Indiana, United States

I'm just trying to develop an online body of work (even if the work is throwaway nonsense) to advance my writing career.

Monday, January 01, 2007


Welcome to 2007 and I hope you'll find it comfortable here. You might as well settle in and live with it because chances are, this will be your home for a full year. If you decide you don't like it, I'm afraid there's only one way out, and what's in store for you afterward is anyone's guess. So stick around. Better the devil you know.

I have been on a kind of informal hiatus lately, as I'm very busy with other projects, which is code for "lazy and unmotivated." And who wouldn't be lazy and unmotivated if they could get away with it? And I have been getting away with it because the only people who miss someone else's blog are lazy and unmotivated, so they're not going to complain.

The fine folks at the Westboro Baptist Church are still at it, waving angry anti-gay banners at the funerals of dead soldiers. Nine months ago, I suggested physical violence as an option for dealing with these people, but now I have a more sophisticated proposition. I don't see much point in confronting this issue after the soldiers are dead, so I suggest a more proactive approach. The WBC protesters should travel to Iraq and Afghanistan and anywhere else where American troops are stationed to search for gay soldiers and set them straight while they're still alive. While they're at it, they should make every effort to rebuke all homosexuals in these areas, whether friend or foe.

One thing I won't miss about the holiday seasion is those stupid biographical sketches people send as Christmas cards. You know, their year in review:

"Chad and I drove up to Lake Erie to see the two headed fish. On the way, we stopped in Kenton to get a large glass of green tea seasoned with tumeric. My, it was tasty!"

Shut up already about your stupid, boring life. I don't begrudge people who have stupid, boring lives--if I didn't have one, I wouldn't be a blogger, would I?--but don't assume I'm interested! Don't waste postage and send me something I almost have to read out of respect for the fact we call ourselves friends or relatives.

"Our dog, Twitdweller, loves to play fetch with the baby! Since my surgery, however, I can't throw the baby very far, but Twitdweller is happy if I just drop it on the floor."

Enough is enough. Somebody level with these people that we don't care! Or is the job going to fall to me? That's what I figured.

That's all for now, but I resolve for 2007 to be even more prolific with blog articles than in 2006. Or maybe equally prolific. Or slightly less.


Blogger Shelia said...

Hi, I hope you enjoyed the chat on AOL Monday night. I'm doing my blog runs today so I wanted to stop by and read some of your blog entries.


24 January, 2007 10:40  

Post a Comment

<< Home